Planet of the Apes РWar something 


Overall score 71%

Guys, I don’t really feel like doing a best/worst things tid bit. Let’s just say Caesar sure came along way in his speech development! I think the development of the entire saga has been really good but this one wasn’t super exciting. The dues ex machine at the end just seemed a little cheesy for my taste. I’m all for sudden resolutions but this one was a bit much. There was a great “good and evil,” theme that wasn’t too cliche, and the movie was well made, it just didn’t have a ton of energy!

Parental Advisory: There is a lot of violence and strong subject matter!

Daisy’s review: I LOVED IT! Actually, I just liked it. (Daisy is my 6 year old daughter that I force to see movies with me)

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Game of Thrones-Dragonstone

Overall score: 45%

Worst parts: Aaaahhhhhh so anti climatic. I waited longer than a YEAR for this! Also, what the hell was Ed Shereen doing in there?! So weird. And he was singing, jut weird X2. I just didn’t get what I needed. Daenerys went home. Who cares. Sam finally became not the most useless person in the world. Who cares. Cersi still sucks. Who cares. John Snow is still the raspy voiced sensible guy. Who cares. Gimme more!!!!!!!

Best parts: **SPOILER**

Arya killing every single Frey there ever was. Heeeeellll yes.

Parental advisory: not for kids under 21

Spider Man РHomecoming 


Overall score: 76%

Best things: It was pretty dang funny. I think it was really cool how Peter Parker didn’t all the sudden become the perfect crime fighting superhero just cause a spider bite gave him abilities. It was a much more realistic depiction of the high school student who becomes Spider Man.

Worst things: It felt a little long. It was super exciting but it was a fun movie.

Parental advisory: It mentioned the word porn, so if you don’t want your kids to hear that word, then ya. All bad words were strategically cut. There was one part where a guy was completely disintegrated and it was a little shocking. I say take your 13+ year olds.

6 year old review: “I kind of liked it. I hated it.”

Who is Rey?


Many have asked for my speculation on who Rey is and theories on her family lineage. I spent a whole 10 minutes contemplating the possibility that she is Luke’s illegitimate child, Ben’s, somehow, grandchild(parents unknown) or a natural phenomenon in the force recreating balance.

Here is my actual theory.

Guys, I just don’t care who she is or where she came from right now. I’m just excited for the dramatic reveal in the movie. One day, all you nerds will get the truth and then you can finally sleep at night. So everyone stop asking me who she is, cause I don’t care and neither should you.

Baby Driver


Overall score: 99.9% + 200% + 7000000%

Best parts: Ok! This movie was AMAZING! The best word to describe Baby Driver is that it is SO smooth. Every single line, sound effect, special effect, and interaction was impeccably placed and well thought out. The entire movie was rhythmic and the mixing of the sound effects with music was pure freaking genius. I just want to cuss I loved it so much.

Worst things: Some idiot fell asleep during the movie(how?! It was so intense!) and started to snore. It was so loud I got distracted and missed a line. I will never get that moment back. Next time you feel like being an a-hole and snore during the best movie of 2017, don’t.

Parental guidance: yea, don’t take your kids. Lots of crime, blood, murder, stealing stuff. There’s no sex though, so there’s that.

Book of Henry


Overall score: 51%

Best things: Naomi Watts once again plays a frazzled, immature, single mother, and does a pretty good job. 

Worst things: The movie had kind of dumb concept. To make matters worse, the ending made the dumb concept almost pointless because it didn’t matter in the end. It wasn’t a terrible movie but eh. 

Parental advisory: There were a lot of swear words. Child abuse. Plot to murder. Maybe don’t bring your kids. 

It’s SUNDAY!


Guys! I’ve been sitting on my butt all day, painting nails and watching Wayne’s World, and then I thought, man, I sure would like to go to the movies. Don’t you want to go too?! 

Follow my blog, thecriticgirl.com if you’re reading this you’re on it, the FOLLOW IT! Easy! If you follow it, you will be entered to win two movie tickets!! 

SHWING!