Dead Pool: 2

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Overall Score: 80%

Best Parts of the Movie: I thought this was an excellent example of team work, determination, and not giving up even though we are depressed. I was really inspired to do good after watching this. I thought the cameos were perfectly subtle, and I got a really cute reminder about the first intro to dead pool in The Wolverine! Just a fun little memory. This is a super cute, and very family friendly movie. Please, take your young children! They will love it. ❤

Worst Parts: well, it was funny, creative, and sentimental. I thought it was great. No complaints here.

Additional Comments: The humor was similar to the first one but I kind live for shock value and there was PLENTLY of that so it didn’t feel repetitious to me. The story developed well off the 1rst one.

Parental Advisory: Bad Word Count: 1,300,600 Gore Moments: 7,999 Sexual Inuendos: A Lot. Overall, great for kids and families

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X-Men: Infinity War

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All of the other STUUUUUPID reviews on this movie LITERALLY made me get back on here and start critic-girling your asses. Here is the actual real review. Also, reminder, rotten tomatoes has continued to prove to me that they no longer have the mental capacity to rate movies. So stop looking at their dumb little tomato percentage cause it WILL brainwash you.

Overall Rating: 85%

Best Things: I love how this movie just got everyone SO wrapped up in their precious little feelings. If I see ONE MORE stars update on facebook that reads:

“Just saw Infinity War. Wahhh (crying emoji)

“Infinity War = Depression”

“Man, I cannot believe what I just saw in Infinity War.”

…I will not do anything.

Bad Things: I actually thought the movie was kind of slow? Maybe I was just tired cause I’m growing a future X-Man. Also, Mary-Kate and Ashley’s Sister’s movie boyfriend is NOT hot without all his red, gem head, suit stuff on. YUCK. Can you say NERD ALERT?! Amaraiighhtt

Review and Theory (Spoilers exist): Ok, either a lot of people did not pick up on subtle cues, or I’m just really over analytical and really reaching. BUT, it seemed wayyyyy too easy that Vulptar (Green girl’s dad. I forgot his name) just got all the family jewels so easy. There didn’t seem to be much of a fight to me. I just kept thinking, ok this seems way too easy for him.

Secondly: There are a TON of unanswered questions. Like where the heck was Hulk? Why didn’t he want to come out? There was information we needed, and didn’t get. On purpose; I’m assuming.

Thirdly: DID ANYONE NOTICE DR. CUMBERBATCH’S FACE?! I’m talking about when he just willingly gave up the time stone. If you recall, HE KNEWWWWWWWW what was going to happen. He even said he did! Watch it again and tell me when he said, “It’s the only way,” his face didn’t seem like he had a dark arts trick up his sleeve. Think about it. Spider Man isn’t dead, he is in another movie. DUH. The Black Panther can’t die. He just started a major black pride movement. That would be racist. I forgot who else died. But YEA, you get it. Also, when that cute little green gem was floating to Purple Man’s hand, Dr. Weirdo was looking at it with a look of anticipation. Almost like, “Please work, please work.” This was a story left unfinished and unexplained. So get your garments out of a wad and just stop being so sad.

Planet of the Apes – War something 


Overall score 71%

Guys, I don’t really feel like doing a best/worst things tid bit. Let’s just say Caesar sure came along way in his speech development! I think the development of the entire saga has been really good but this one wasn’t super exciting. The dues ex machine at the end just seemed a little cheesy for my taste. I’m all for sudden resolutions but this one was a bit much. There was a great “good and evil,” theme that wasn’t too cliche, and the movie was well made, it just didn’t have a ton of energy!

Parental Advisory: There is a lot of violence and strong subject matter!

Daisy’s review: I LOVED IT! Actually, I just liked it. (Daisy is my 6 year old daughter that I force to see movies with me)

Spider Man – Homecoming 


Overall score: 76%

Best things: It was pretty dang funny. I think it was really cool how Peter Parker didn’t all the sudden become the perfect crime fighting superhero just cause a spider bite gave him abilities. It was a much more realistic depiction of the high school student who becomes Spider Man.

Worst things: It felt a little long. It was super exciting but it was a fun movie.

Parental advisory: It mentioned the word porn, so if you don’t want your kids to hear that word, then ya. All bad words were strategically cut. There was one part where a guy was completely disintegrated and it was a little shocking. I say take your 13+ year olds.

6 year old review: “I kind of liked it. I hated it.”

Wonder Woman


I’m baaaaaaaack! Gosh I’ve been a super loser about writing reviews. I forgot my wordpress password and I just got super lazy about resetting it! Anyway, review time.

Overall score: 100%

Best things: ok freaking Wonder Woman is my new movie crush. (Sorry Jake Gyllenhal) Her fights scenes were the best I’ve ever seen in my entire life. There was a certain scene, set in a war setting, won’t give away too much, but I might have shed a tear I was so inspired.

Worst things: Well guys, sorry to burst your bubble but Chris Pine is not Captian America and nor will he ever become Captain America. Soo, don’t wait the entire movie for him to turn into Captain America.

There are no parental advisorys on this movie. I took my 6 year old and she now wants to be a crime fighting super hero, so yea. Take your kids.

Demolition

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Overall Score: 100%

Best part of the movie: The script was genius, Jake was perfect (I want to be on him), the story was so relatable and real, and there were 0 cliches. Pure perfection. A true testament of great writing and originality. Well done.

Worst part of the movie: Isn’t Jake Gyllenhaal supposed to come out of the screen and stroke my hair or something? That didn’t happen, soooo…. Yea. Pretty sucky.

Have you ever gone through life completely disconnected? It’s almost like you want to care about certain things but you just can’t. Jake Gyllenhaal’s subtle acting perfectly embodied what it is to be numb. When you think the story was going to go one way, comic relief saved it from an overused cliche that often ruins movies. See this. NOW NOW NOW!!

Top 10 Movies of 2015

Well guys, theatrically, it’s been a REALLY cool year. Since nothing really cool happened in life this year, in fact it hasn’t changed in a few years, I decided it would be great to compile a top 10 list for my personal favorite movies in 2015. I was going to do top 5, but then I felt bad leaving some movies out! Enjoy poo heads.

1. 

I was there on the mountain the day I watched this, and it’s an aventure I’ll never forget.

2.  

Nostaligia at its strongest. This was the best Star Wars episode ever made, and captured a story line, emotions, and character developement like I’ve never seen before. I felt the awakening, did you feel it too?

3. 

Staight Outta Compton was full of rich music hisotry that strongly increased my appreciation for what this group did for music, racial awareness, and other social break throughs. I wish I was black

4. 

Artistic, hilarious, shocking, and mentally exhilerating. Quentin Tarantino does it again and exeeds expentations in this movie. The cast and beautiful gore made the movie a peice of art.

5. 

The cinematography in this move was amazing! The energy was constant and exciting.

6. 

Space movies have always been my favorite. The movie sucked me into the journey and I was there with Matt Damon trying to survive!

7. 

Joy is simply inspiring.

8. 
This movie was intense and totally manipulated me in the best way possible. The ending was a total mind effer.
 
9.  

Will Smith made this movie amazing. I was worried it was going to be about football, but luckily it wasn’t. Concussion perfectly captures the passion that one person had for their work and the stupidity of sports.

10. 

What?! A cartoon?! Don’t get your undies in a bunch this movie was more important than you think. Inside Out tenderly explains why it’s important to feel ALL emotions. See it, you’ll see, it’s not just for kids.